Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
