I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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