What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
