Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
