Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My bed smells like the plague
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
