Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
