fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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