Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
