I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
