it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
