Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
