I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
