i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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