I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
