did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize