We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
