just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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