He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
