I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
