The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So much Jack, so little girl.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
