I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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