Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
