No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
