so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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