My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
