i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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