I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
