it was like having sex with a tree stump
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
