i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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