we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
