my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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