Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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