well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
