New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
