I'm really into asian looking animals
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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