The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
