Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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