i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
