VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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