thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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