one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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