her vagine was all disorganized.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
