i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
