Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
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do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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