just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
