Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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