Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
