Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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