No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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