i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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