love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
