Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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