Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
