VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i was born a porn star she said
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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