I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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