just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize