I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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