Tell her she can't have a vagina
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
