Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Someone came in the potted fern
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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