Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
