"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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