My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
